I remember the first time in a Civ 5 game that I got put next to Gandhi. I saw all those tanks amassing at my border and I was like, it’s probably nothing. I mean it’s Gandhi right?

WRONG. WRONG. WRONG.

Why does Civilization 5 keep adding new content? Have you not destroyed enough lives?

I get irrationally mad in Civilization 5 when both the Byzantines and the Ottomans are in a game, because that means Istanbul and Constantinople will be two separate cities. Mostly I’m just mad that conquering both doesn’t come with a Steam achievement called People Just Liked It Better That Way.

The scariest thing in any game is in Civ 5 when you see “Genghis Khan has completed the Manhattan Project.”

I’m going to start visiting high schools around the country to tell kids about the dangers of Civilization 5 addiction. You think it’s cool because you’re friends are doing it? You think you can just win a tech victory as The Netherlands on Immortal difficulty? You haven’t woken up at 3 AM thinking about starting an archipelago game against Polynesia and Indonesia at once. It sticks with you. And there’s always one more turn. Always one more. Civ 5 ain’t your friend. Peace out.

I think we should give all the terrorists Civilization 5 so they’ll play it and 12 hours will go by and they’ll be like shit I was supposed to do the terrorism today and then we’ll have world peace.

ethertune:

姫路城 Himeji Castle #1(By Takashi K. A)

You know you’ve been playing Civ 5 too much when your first thought is +15% COMBAT BONUS IN FRIENDLY TERRITORY PROVIDES A FREE CASTLE IN THE CITY IN WHICH IT WAS BUILT.

ethertune:

姫路城 Himeji Castle #1(By Takashi K. A)

You know you’ve been playing Civ 5 too much when your first thought is +15% COMBAT BONUS IN FRIENDLY TERRITORY PROVIDES A FREE CASTLE IN THE CITY IN WHICH IT WAS BUILT.

(via forasgardandtherealmeternal)

I’m just like, so sick of all of the Civ 5 drama.

Ohmygod Catherine, you can’t just say you’re my friend and then be mean to my city-states. I’m like, so mad, I don’t even want to be your friend anymore, that’s how mad I am.

Look on the right side for an example of Civ 5’s quirkiness.

Look on the right side for an example of Civ 5’s quirkiness.

My thoughts of the Civ 5 expansion because I know you all care so much.

I first played as Byzantium. Their capital is Constantinople. The Ottomans were also in this game, and their capital is Istanbul. No. We respect both geography and They Might Be Giants in this house.

When creating my religion, I thought “My religion will be about peace and love and bolstering culture.” Then I saw you can institute tithing. Fuck culture, other people’s money will be buy me all the culture I want.

The Austrians can totally cheat by marrying off their royal family members to city-states. Stupid Austrian sperm getting in the way of me being voted leader of the world. If I had nickel…